How to Edit/Revise a Poem
By
Larry Boggan
When People Ask
By
Stephanie Schlaifer
From: Bitter Southern Poetry, Vol 2
https://bittersoutherner.com/bitter-southerner-poetry-vol-2
Moving Through the South is available at the URL of the abovementioned newsletter.
Next:
Edit the opening and closing lines:
The opening line is essential and must be carefully crafted. The first line gives the reader an idea about the subject and texture of the poem. It is the hook, the motivator, the instigator—NOT THE ELEMINATOR! The opening line provides an idea or suggestion of what the poem is about and what the poet is attempting to do. The entire poem rests on the first line. Spend the time to make it right. The middle of the poem tells the story. Make sure it is emotive and supports the first line. Now, the ending. The ending makes the poem memorable. The ending is more than a summary. It is the slamming of the poem’s door. Slam it hard!
Here are some examples of closing lines:
Taken from Contemporary American Poetry
Edited by Donald Hall
Poet: Denise Levertov
Poem: The Springtime.
The rabbits will bare their teeth at the spring moon.
Poet: Robert Bly
Poem: Poem in three Parts.
Where we shall sit at the foot of a plant,
And live forever like dust.
Poet: Sylvia Plath
Poem: Words
While
From the bottom of the pool, fixed stars
Govern life.
The Last Thing:
Read your poem out loud. If you have a recording device, record yourself and replay the poem. You will want to identify any blocks to the flow of the poem. A word that doesn’t fit, or a line that ends abruptly or continues too long, is a hindrance. Pay close attention to the rhythm. Do you need to change the structure of the poem’s lines to achieve a better flow/rhythm? Experiment with the format by changing the lines to achieve a different melody or cadence of the poem. Then, pick the format best suited for the rhythm you want to attain. In other words, treat it like a song.
I Hope these comments and examples are helpful. Thanks again for reading, and be sure to follow me on Facebook, Medium, Twitter, and Instagram. You can also check out my website and email me at the email addresses in my biography.
©
Bio:
Larry attended college on the GI Bill, earning five degrees, the highest being an Educational Specialist degree. He also holds two master’s degrees, the most recent in creative writing (Poetry) from the University of New Mexico. D’lo has published one book of poetry and four novels. Larry is also a board member of the New Mexico State Poetry Society (NMSPS) and teaches poetry and the art of “Pantser” writing (writing without a plot or outline). Additionally, he offers online Zoom poetry readings. You can find Larry at www.dlobookstore.com OR email Larry at dlobookstore.com@gmail.com.
The following is an example of one of D’lo’s poems with interesting opening & closing lines.
Enjoy!
The Door
The door is open for the dead to enter.
A woman alone stares at the ceiling
& quietly tells her story,
using long pauses
between each word.
It is an allegory:
An old couple lying together in bed
whispers a secret to the dead,
While we, the living who are afraid to enter
listen with ears cupped against the wall,
of an adjacent room.
The word ‘STOP’ is shouted
followed by a slamming door.
I want to take this opportunity to thank everyone for following me and my partner, D’lo. We wish you all a very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!